Math of Marriage

Mathematics of Marriage:

1. Smart man + smart woman = Romance
2. Smart man + dumb woman = Pregnancy
3. Dumb man + smart woman = Affair
4. Dumb man + dumb woman = Marriage
5. Smart boss + smart employee = Profit
6. Smart boss + dumb employee = Production
7. Dumb boss + smart employee = Promotion
8. Dumb boss + dumb employee = Overtime

Who Is There?

Three older ladies were discussing the problems of getting older. One said, 'Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich'.

The second lady chimed in, 'Yes, sometimes I find myself standing on the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.'

The third one responded, 'Well, I am glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood, 'as she rapped her knuckles on the table. She looked up and said, 'That must be the door, I'll get it!'

Some Psychology:

-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
-A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Classic Wedding Jokes from Best Man Speeches:

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
2. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
3. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
4. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't .
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

Advanced Marriage MathsMaths of Marriage:

Facts about marriage proposals:

When asked if there was anything they would have changed about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several women said a 'bigger diamond!'

* 54% of men still get down on one knee.
* 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission to marry.
* 57% of men cry when she said yes.
* 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation into the proposal.
* 25% of couples wait longer than five years before taking their relationship that step further.
* 23% of women have been proposed to more than once.