What Women Want in a Man...

What Women Want in a Man. Age 20

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What Women Want in a Man. Age 30

1. Nice looking [prefer hair on his head]
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What Women Want in a Man. Age 40
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1. Not too ugly [bald head OK]
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What Women Want in a Man. Age 50

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What Women Want in a Man. Age 60

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
What Women Want in a Man. Age 70+

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

♦
A Woman Should Have ... Every Woman Should Know

Will Says: Funny Advice for Women.
Guy Says: Advice for Funny Women

1. Aspire to be Barbie - That girl has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - Buy them in every colour.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt - A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls.
5. Go on the 30 day diet.- I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days.
6. When life gets you down - Just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it’s OK. - They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation. - I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot. - It solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2010 - Turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man - There is probably some woman tired of his behaviour.
13. Keep your chin up: Only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has Tyres or Testicles - it’s going to give you trouble.
15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right: She has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.

"Good friends are like stars - You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there".
"Remember yesterday. Dream about tomorrow. - But live for today".

Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work; suffering from a hangover; or just suffering from life; or has anything going on and might need a reason to smile.
Will and Guy's 10 Funny Thoughts About Women

1. What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.
2. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
3. A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
4. Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
5. Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
6. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
7. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
8. I like my whisky old and my women young.
9. Most women are not always as young as they are painted.
10. What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.